Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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