i need an iv and a liver transplant
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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