My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
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I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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