my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
