I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
