what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
