im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize