'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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