just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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