you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize