i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
