Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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