Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
