I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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