I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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