she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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