yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
