You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
