At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
