And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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