Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
