be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
