her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
