Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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