I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
