I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
