Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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