your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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