there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
