i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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