AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
