Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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