Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
