with your own penis?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
