It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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