i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
