A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
