He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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