I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
