garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm so fucking centered right now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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