Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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