Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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