I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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