Please, let me fuck your mom
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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