im about as happy as oj after his trial
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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