Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
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I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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