do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Success! We fucked roommates!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
