Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
