8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well you can't waste a boner
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A+ Viking dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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