Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
