This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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