You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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