I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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