I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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