I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize