We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
